Archives For December 2005

Lately I have been in this mood of not really caring. I really don’t know where it is coming from. But it is nice to be able to just relax and not really care. As a child I was always able to entertain myself and make myself laugh. I still to this day make myself laugh all the time and usually it is stuff that a lot of people would not find funny. I really don’t know why I think it is funny but for some reason I can have the best time at the store just walking around and joking with myself and my Mom, and half the time she is not laughing, but like I said I really don’t care, I still have fun. I just don’t want to be one of those people who are so worried about what others think and cannot have fun with things. We went to target to do some Christmas shopping today and I was amazed at how every single girl that was in there looked alike. They were my age and younger and they all looked the same. I always tried to stay away from being the carbon copy of someone else, that is just one thing that would make myself laugh. another thing was when I went to get something to eat and the lady that took are order was so rude and depressing that I wanted to start to talk to her and try and cheer her up. It was sad to see this depressed look on her face and how much she hated her job. The funny thing is if I made a little comment to her she would look at me and give me this look like you are a loser and are pathetic. I sometimes feel like I don’t fit in with the average teenager these days. I am glad I am almost 20 so that I wont have to be a teenager any more.

Recently I have been helping out at Lakeside Christian Church in Springfield IL. I have been doing some little stuff and have had the opportunity to lead a Jr High small group that meets on Sunday nights. So far it is going really good. I was a little nervous about taking on this responsibility because of the fact that I would be working with Jr Highers and I have had a fear of teaching and preaching for a long time. I have not really done a lot of teaching up to this point, so when the first time out group was suppose to meet on Sunday I got a little nervous, and to help the book that all of the other groups are doing is the book of Mark. So I am looking at Mark and trying to figure out what I could talk about to some Jr Highers. And then ideas started to flow out, I decided to show the video from Nooma called “Dust.” I was a little worried that it would be over their heads but I did it anyway. We talked about how Jesus called his first three disciples and then I showed the video, the kids really responded well to it and it was a big success from the week before when they were banging on the walls and cusing and would not listen to the other leader of the group for nothing, you better believe that if I was there I would have never have shown up again. But now me and the other leader who is my roommate have set up a three week teaching outline that coincides with Nooma videos and it is really starting to look good. So needless to say I am really starting to enjoy teaching even though I have only done it once, I am enjoying setting up the lessons and preparing them, who knows maybe there is hope for me.