Are You A Doorman Or A Doormat?

Kyle Reed // @kylereed

On the journey of people pleasing, this question has to be asked.

Are you a Doorman or a Doormat?

Why is it an important question for people pleasers? Because everyone is a people pleaser. We all want to make people happy, have friends, make connections, and most importantly win (that was a charlie sheen reference). The people pleaser inside of you has to consider which kind of person you are, a doorman or a doormat?

Often times I think people pleasers get confused on which one they exactly resemble. It is easy to see both one in the same. Mainly because they both stand by the door. What is the door? The door is opportunity, the door is abilities, the door is your life. This door is the very thing that people walk through every single day on their own journey. It can get confusing standing so close to something that feels so personal. But the distinction has to be made, are you a doorman or a doormat?

A doorman opens the door for people
A doormat lets people walk over them

A doorman knows the people that enter through the door
A doormat only knows people who step on them

A doorman is known for being resourceful, possessing information, and having authority
A doormat is known for wiping people’s feet, being stepped on, and left to sit alone

A doorman chooses who to let in and who to keep out
A doormat has no choice

So which one are you?



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Kyle Reed

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I create websites, conversations, and ideas. Advocate for the 20 somethings. Looking to connect everyone to a mentor. Married to my best friend, Ginny. I like my coffee black and my dog Jack. I currently live in Nashville and work at Sony Music/Provident in Nashville
  • David Mehrle

    I am going to go with Doorman!

    • Kyle Reed

      I would agree

  • Chris

    Ha – did you choose that doormat photo on purpose? Flip it upside down and read what it says :)

    • Kyle Reed

      ha, I didn’t even realize that. But I guess it works right :)

      • Rebecca

        I use to be a doormat with capital D. But have learned the importance of being a Doorman. :O) Great post sir!

  • Jason

    I’m a doormat.

  • Allison

    I used to be a doormat. I’m now more like a doorman in training. I am learning to guard my heart. I am learning how to check the credentials of the people that approach the door of my heart to see if they are just allowed to come in and look around at the treasure inside or if they are actually allowed to touch the treasure. And some folks are being asked to move along without being let inside. Great post, Kyle.

    • Kyle Reed

      I like that, learning to guard your heart. That is huge

  • Tyler

    I see myself mostly as a doorman and I think most people will see that as the more positive thing to be like, but I am struck to think of how Jesus did his personal ministry and how he was very much like a doormat in various situations. His humility and desire to be a doormat is something I avoid too often.

    • Kyle Reed

      interesting way to flip it.
      I can see that though, I still also see Jesus as a doorman. Opening up different situations for certain people. Often times not wanting to be everything to all men, but choosing who to talk with, share with, and even do miracles for. But the servant nature is definitely something that we often can be more like Jesus in.
      I think the biggest thing in that is figuring out how to be a servant without being walked on

  • Jordan Watson

    I am a doorman. However, I struggle with being a prideful doorman. Also, I have caught myself stepping on doormats. I think a tough question is: how do we love people that take the posture of a doormat? Thanks for writing and sharing man. Great thoughts.

  • sandra abney

    Well im a car worker
    Its kind of hard to do because
    I always get cut
    And have to take care of my