Being Called a Boy Drives Me Insane

Kyle Reed // @kylereed

It all started with these two tweets:

and it snow balled into all the responses you see below.

Check them out by clicking below

Go to comment section here

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Kyle Reed

Posts Twitter

I create websites, conversations, and ideas. Advocate for the 20 somethings. Looking to connect everyone to a mentor. Married to my best friend, Ginny. I like my coffee black and my dog Jack. I currently live in Nashville and work at Sony Music/Provident in Nashville
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  • Kyle Reed

    will be doing a follow up post to this very soon explaining myself some more

  • shellie (baylormum)

    I wish I had seen all of this yesterday!!! I don’t follow all the “right” women!! Ha!! I think it was good to have a few “mature” voices in the mix! (you know, Lindsey Nobles & me).


    • Kyle Reed

      well now you have some #FF to check out

  • Julie Kolb

    Interesting..Maybe we are talking about two different things..My perspective on this comes as talking about a friend or loved one, not an acquaintance..As someone stated, there is a different between childish and childlike…

    For me it’s about looking at one’s heart, with one’s heart..As a woman it’s not about the title that I am called or what I call anothers (remember I’m talking friends here; even your partner)…There IS such a thing as a ‘man card” or being a “real man”..And trust me, I could go on and on about what qualities should go into that..What it boils down to, there, is character..A ‘man’s” character…Character is what’s left when all else is fleeting with time (and age)

    Here’s the BUT..If someone (for you a girl) can look into your heart and see that there is still an innocence to you..A “childlike” joy for life and an unjaded love that remains…..Then, if she calls you a “boy” in that context, count yourself lucky!!..She saw what was in your heart and made it a priority to point it out….

    I love being a woman and a lady…But I certainly hope that there will forever remain a “girl-like” innocence to my heart and my character…I want people to see my “childlike” heart..A heart that plays hard, enjoys life and loves without any expectations in return….

    “Mark 10:14
    When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”

    • Kyle Reed

      I totally agree with that. Nothing more beautiful then a childlike faith.

      I think for me it comes more into acting like a boy rather then a man. And really what happens is when I am continually called a boy then what is the point of acting like a man?

      • Katy

        what’s the point in acting like a man? because that’s what god has called and asked you to do. to be a godly man. if you seek the approval of women/girls/ladies or base your own actions or how you conduct yourself or you motivation in life off of others…then you’ll be like a wave tossed in the wind depending on who is influencing your life at the moment.
        granted, i agree, that as women we need to build up our men and strengthen and encourage them.
        though, i also think it depends on how the word is used and the tone because i have heard some ways where it can be used as endearing and covered in love if it’s like “my boy.” personally, i wouldn’t go that route for someone i am in a relationship with…but that’s because i do want a man and not a boy.
        and well…really, there are very few “men” who act with respect, honor, and godly character.

        • Kyle Reed

          and i totally agree, we are called to be men. But the key word there is called. At some point a boy has to be called into manhood. And so the point here is that if we are constantly being called a boy and or accepted as being a boy (or that we are allowed to be boys) then why become a man and take responsibility with your life, and get a job, and be trustworthy, and have integrity.
          Not saying that just because I am called a boy by someone all of the stuff of being a man goes out the window, but I will say that boys need to be called into manhood, called and expected to be men.

          • Katy

            But the key there again is…called by God.

            You gotta go by what God calls you to, not the world/people. We’re told to follow Him.

            If I were to base my life off what others have “called” me then I wouldn’t be where I am today…I would be off living a totally different life than what God desires for me.

            Plus, there is integrity and honesty to be upheld on both ends. A woman/girl/lady should not lie and call someone a man just because that’s who she wants him to become. Not saying that you can’t encourage someone to step out into that role while maintaining the truth.

  • Tyler

    Absolutely agree that too many women allow themselves to date “boys” who aren’t really men. But I would also say that I think the term “boys” is pretty closely equated with “girls” for the opposite gender in terms of meaning.

    • Kyle Reed

      you are right. I think really it is the way it is communicated. Its like if you us boys then why do we ever have to act like men?

  • Lexi MacKinnon

    Dang Kyle! You got ripped apart for that little “mini-rant”! haha Way to open up some heated debate! :-)

  • Mindy

    wow…that sounds like an interesting conversation and day for you. I’m sure it’s already been said but I’ll add my two cents, if that’s okay…

    On one hand or in some instances perhaps, I think the words (girl/boy) are just words…i.e. “hanging out with girls/boys, etc”

    On another hand, I do believe that society has promoted feminism and gender equality so much so that our boys have suffered in their upbringing. This is not to say that I am against gender equality however boys have been neglected and even mocked/ridiculed in the process of bringing girls up in status, thus resulting in a generation of weaker, sillier men who aren’t “required” to act like men.

    In terms of relationships, while I may unconsciously use the word “boy” from time to time, I know that what I’m looking for is a mature caring man. Sure, he can have silly boyish moments but I most definitely do not want to marry a boy. I think women who date “boys” are either drawn to that “mothering” role or maybe are more “girls” themselves. (eek..that sounds judgmental…sorry. hopefully you know what I mean).

    Lastly, I can see how the word “boy” can be frustrating and offensive. If I personally want to see men be men, I suppose I could always retrain my speech to give them the respect they deserve! Kudos for a good discussion starter, Kyle!

    • Kyle Reed

      I think you are on to something here.
      And I do not think that was judgmental. In fact I think that you are spot on with that assessment in every avenue.
      Good thoughts added to the discussion

  • mo

    VWM’s reply was pretty intriguing.

  • Ryan Peters

    Where do u men and women get the time to have a 4 page long conversation in 140 character blurbs? Im jealous.

    • Kyle Reed

      hey now we are not the ones that went off and had ourselves a baby