Black Friday=Mom Friday

Kyle Reed // @kylereed

I think that black Friday is in existence for Mom’s. I have taken part in my fair share of black Fridays. And like I have said before, I have only purchased one thing in the last 3 years and that was a 3 gig flash drive for $8. What I did notice was the majority of the people that were taking part in black Friday were women. This has lead me to believe that black Friday was invented for stay at home moms.

I do not have any scientific proof that supports this theory, only the science that goes on in my head. But I do have what I like to call “eye proof.” The idea that if I see it then it is true. What I have noticed from Twitter today and other conversations is almost all of the guys do not partake in this day. This leads me to believe that the guys that do participate in this day are one of two things, whipped and under their wives submission (unbiblical—-you make the call) or they secretly want to be stay at home moms. This might be preposterous to you, but consider the following arguments.

1) Who gets excited about shopping?
Most men do not like to shop. This is widely played out in TV shows and in holiday conversations around the Christmas tree with family members that you really do not like and have nothing to talk about and so you bring up a safe conversation that you know they will all agree with and yet in some way will kill the conversation as quickly as possible so that you do not have to hear another story about how your Uncle has another theory about alien abduction. Men do not like to shop, they would rather sleep, drink coffee, watch football, and kill things. Must I say anymore for this argument?

2) All the Deals are targeting who?
It seems that all the deals involve really cheap lame DVD’s (Gilmore girls, One Tree Hill, or Step Up 1 & 2), cheap sweaters or jeans, vacuums, crappy HP computers that cost $200 and can barely handle running facebook and instant messenger (those two are required to be open at all times for stay at home moms), and my favorite of all GPS systems (insert your favorite women driving joke here). The stores understand who is stupid enough to get up at 3 am to stand in the cold and then run like a crazy person to try and get 30 dvds for 30 dollars.

3) Who fights over cookware?
Pretty sure no guy cooks. As well, the only time I get excited about cookware is when I see food in it. This leads me to my last point. The only people that fight over getting a good deal on cookware is women. This argument is pretty self supporting and I do not feel compelled to make a huge case for it.

These are just a couple of the many reasons why Black Friday=Mom Friday. A day for all of the women of the houses to emerge on the streets and the stores and make the rest of our lives miserable.

Are you a Mom Friday person or did you do what normal people do and stay home?


PS: I hope you realize that this post was written in a very sarcastic and joking tone. This is best illustrated by the first paragraph in the fact that I have attended many black Fridays myself which in turn makes me either pathetic, a women, or both. I am not sexist and just wrote this for fun.

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Kyle Reed

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I create websites, conversations, and ideas. Advocate for the 20 somethings. Looking to connect everyone to a mentor. Married to my best friend, Ginny. I like my coffee black and my dog Jack. I currently live in Nashville and work at Sony Music/Provident in Nashville
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  • Stephanie

    I'm curious – what is it your "eye proof" that has lead you to believe that all the women who shop on Friday at stay-at-home moms vs. non-stay-at-home-moms?

    For the record, I've never shopped on Black Friday. No desire. Just the thought gives me a stomach ache. Blech.

    • Kyle Reed

      Couple of eye proofs that lend me to believe this…
      1) They all have Kate Gosselin hair cuts:

      2) The way they multi-task
      it is amazing to see them be able to hold their kids hands, talk to others around them, while they grab as much stuff as they can. Only a stay at home mom can be that good at doing 6 things at once

      3) Their Dress
      Usually they all look alike. They either are wearing sweatpants with a huge over sized coat. Sometimes they class it up and wear jeans with a Christmas sweater. This is a dead give away

  • Ryan

    If they weren't stay-at-home-moms, they would be at work instead of jamming a shopping cart into my calves while trying to get to the five-dollar movie bin.

    • Kyle Reed

      These are all great points and must be noted

  • Shelby

    I have never shopped on Black Friday, usually cause I'm broke.
    and Gilmore Girls is the best. not lame at all.

  • Pete Hoekstra

    Tech Question: