Comments on: Breaking it Off

By: @kylelreed

@kylelreed — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 13:22:00 +0000

The commitment is what I think is the important thing. Not the same in and of that it is marriage, but the commitment is there.

By: bondChristian

bondChristian — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 19:39:13 +0000

I should have read original post again (after reading all the comments) before I posted. In the beginning of my comment when I'm saying “they” are the same, I mean engagement and marriage – the commitment to both is the same.

-Marshall Jones Jr.

By: bondChristian

bondChristian — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 19:30:57 +0000

First off, Kyle, I love the discussion here.

For the sake of argument (sorry, somehow I missed this in real time), I'll say they're the same. Or let me go slightly softer: they're not the same, but the commitment should be the same.

Is Jesus married to the Church right now, or engaged? If He's married, why are we separate? I know His Spirit is with us, but I think it's fair to say we're still separate in a way. (See the beginning of John 14.) I think it's more realistic to say we're engaged.

Assuming we're engaged, does that mean Jesus still has an option out of marrying us?

My point is simply that engagement is more than promising to pursue marriage. Engagement is promising marriage.

-Marshall Jones Jr.

By: @kylelreed

@kylelreed — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 21:54:58 +0000

I love the absolute of this. But I am with you…vow before God, not a vow on your knees is what counts.

By: Adam Smith

Adam Smith — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 02:01:21 +0000

nope not the same at all. no vow in front of God. the end.

By: @kylelreed

@kylelreed — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 21:16:59 +0000

See, now there is a point there.
You went specifically out of your way to ask both father and future bride and then like you said, to break it off would be very tough.
There is something there inside of that.

By: @kylelreed

@kylelreed — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 21:13:24 +0000

That is a great definite answer.
Love it.

What about the couples that act like they are married when they get engaged? Is that okay to do, what is the difference?

By: David

David — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 20:26:06 +0000

I'd love to say they are the same just because holy arguing can be fun, but I think culture (like so many have mentioned) really does come into play here. We have this interim stage where two people determine to make a life long commitment, but if they realise that isn't really what should happen, then they have at least hopefully kept themselves pure (ish) for marriage later on.

I will say that I treated engagement as having the same weight as marriage...and flew to the other side of the world to ask Diane's father for her hand in marriage (that was a crazy week if ever there was one). It was making a commitment not just to Diane but to her family as well.

I can't imagine having asked her, and then her father, to marry and then deciding that was a mistake. Surely, that's what the time before engagement is for :)

By: JenniClayville

JenniClayville — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 19:26:18 +0000

nope. engaged is NOT married. marriage is a vow and promise. engaged is headed TOWARDS marriage… but NOT married.

you can break off your engagement to the point of RIGHT before you say “i do”.

By: @kylelreed

@kylelreed — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 18:14:53 +0000

No I agree, I am just saying it to be that guy that questions everything.
Really I just wanted to see what others were thinking.