Comments on: Cheating with Twitter

By: @kylelreed

@kylelreed — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 19:21:54 +0000

Thanks for the encouragement Rhett.
Transparency seems to be the key.
I wonder though, in this issue when your spouse does not have a twitter account how transparent do you be and how do you be transparent with that?

By: @kylelreed

@kylelreed — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 19:20:55 +0000

Ya I am with you. I think the main reason I ask this question is because of some things that I have seen and just out of general curiosity.

By: Jason Huffman

Jason Huffman — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 15:54:51 +0000

I'm in youth ministry. Just about everyone I follow is either in youth ministry or other church-related field (yes, some are females), or they are celebrities or people who share my interests in things (i.e. ESPN, Sports Illustrated, music, etc.). So I have not noticed people having inappropriate conversations. However, given the nature of Twitter, I can see how it could lend itself to that. Also, there seems to be something that is seemingly “innocent” about only being able to write 140 characters. While I haven't seen it, I totally see how you are right. Good post.

By: Rhett Smith

Rhett Smith — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 15:43:01 +0000

Kyle,

I knew you had written about this...glad you mentioned it again cause I forgot to read it in the midst of my crazy sickness last few weeks.

I totally agree with this post. And though you aren't married, I'm glad you are thinking about this issue now, because most singles don't even think about this. And when they don't, that tends to cause problems in marriage, especially early on when both partners are getting used to living together, new boundaries, etc, etc.

It's very easy to get engaged in some conversations with people that can be both appropriate and inappropriate. And what may not seem like an inappropriate convo can eventually be led down the wrong path as the convo engagement continues.

That's why I'm a big proponent of transparency on these issues with one's partner. It's hard to do, but gets easier with practice. My wife and I have been having those convos for a while and they are getting easier to have. Really helping us grow together as well.

By: Rhett Smith

Rhett Smith — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 15:43:01 +0000

By: @kylelreed

@kylelreed — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 02:25:00 +0000

Thanks for classing this blog up, good to have another female opinion. Great words, and you should be on twitter.

By: AdrianaFeliz

AdrianaFeliz — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 02:02:53 +0000

Some more feminine insight:
I've been thinking a lot about this topic. I don't have a twitter account but I get where you're coming from. Boundaries are a problem in the blogosphere as well. It all depends in what you are talking about and to what extent it is appropriate (It's easy to get carried away online). The same problem could apply to almost anything (online or not). Still you can't act as if you WERE married… because you aren't and that in itself carries a bit more freedom. Just set a limit that applies to you personally as a single man (who wants to marry) and then go by it.

By: @kylelreed

@kylelreed — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 12:24:53 +0000

You are the twitter master as well. You have a lot of interaction over twitter. I think you would be the best to answer this question.

And I can imagine no wife would like an ex girlfriend DMing with you.

By: Adam Smith

Adam Smith — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 00:29:47 +0000

I like this topic. I would rather keep things in the open personally, but I know lots wouldn't care. I think about if my wife found out, would she care. It definitely depends on conversation and the person. If I was DMing an ex girlfriend, probably not so cool

By: @kylelreed

@kylelreed — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 20:13:25 +0000

That is the exact thing I am talking about, the one spouse having a presence online and the other has no clue what online presence even means.

I had this issue when I was a teacher at a high school. Within the first week of me working there I got over 100 facebook request and it just continued. I accepted the request but then had to go back and defriend everyone because it could be taken as wrong and I was told to by some fellow teachers and friends. It can be dangerous.