As I Get Married

Kyle Reed // @kylereed

Life has many phases to it, I like to think of them as chapters.

I remember the chapter I closed when I moved out of my parents house and started my freshmen year of college. Or the most recent one of moving to an entirely different state. I closed one chapter and moved to the next exciting chapter of life only to be met with many new revelations and life lessons.
And as I have looked back at the different chapters of my life I can see that a new chapter is about to begin.

In July I am getting married.

A few thoughts as I am about to get married…

1. Doing life alone is much different then doing life together.

It is crazy how much life changes when you start to seriously put someone else ahead of you. Not only do you realize how selfish you were/are, but you realize how much more aware you are of others and their needs.

2. My priorities have changed. 

For 26 years of my life my priorities have been mainly about me. Many times I have made it a priority to serve others, but in the long run I have focused on myself. Introducing someone else into your life can change all of that. You now have a physical example in front of you who not only wants to be your priority but also wants you to be her priority. My priorities have moved from mine to ours.

3. I understand Christ love better.

Being a Christian, I have known the love of Christ since I was a very young child. Understanding the unconditional love of Christ has never been something that I have greatly struggled with, my parents have modeled this well. But understanding the sacrificial love of Christ has never been clearer in the many times that my love has called for me to be selfless. Comprehending the grace of love that I receive each day and the hope that it gives, has caused me to be a better man and future husband.

4. I truly do not understand how selfish I truly am.

Have I said this already? I know I can be selfish, but I never realized how truly selfish I can be. But I have found mysel in certain situation sinking to new lows when it comes to getting my way. This has been a grand revelation to me, having to lay down my selfish gains every day will be one of the greatest challenges I will ever face but will also be one of the greatest victories I will gain.

5. No one tells you how many emotions are involved. 

I am not a very emotional guy. The last time I cried was 10 years ago. But as I have gotten closer to starting this new chapter, I have noticed that my emotions are new and different. As a man, there is nothing wrong with showing emotions, but being a man that didn’t know he had these emotions is a whole other thing. The part that continues to surprise me is how many different things are seen differently when emotions are involved.

I cannot think of any other woman to start this new chapter with than you Ginny.

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Kyle Reed

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I create websites, conversations, and ideas. Advocate for the 20 somethings. Looking to connect everyone to a mentor. Married to my best friend, Ginny. I like my coffee black and my dog Jack. I currently live in Nashville and work at Sony Music/Provident in Nashville
  • ashwarren

    Marriage really does hold a mirror up for us 24/7…and helps us clearly see the good and the bad in ourselves. Handy thing, then, having someone by your side to process and grow with. So excited for you and Ginny and the beginning of this next chapter!

    • http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com @kylereed

      Ash, thank you for the encouragement and the thoughts. Love the analogy of the mirror, so true.

  • http://twitter.com/felicitywhite Felicity White

    Congratulations, Kyle. Our pastor used to say at all the weddings he officiated, “You think you love each other now, but just wait five years. Then you’ll just be getting started. After 25 or so, you’ll have it almost figured out.” I always liked that because it emphasized what love was really about: commitment. I think good singles make the best married people. You’ll transition well! : )

    • http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com @kylereed

      Yes, I love that as well. And honestly can see the truth in that. Can’t wait to get there and the process that will bring about.

  • http://twitter.com/michaellane Michael Lane

    Congrats Kyle — as a husband of 2 years, here’s a few things that I’ve learned:
    1. Marriage is beautiful, but requires “selflessness” and lots of “mercy” – on both sides!
    2. It’s a daily process to deny selfishness, and put your spouse ahead of yourself.
    3. Love you wife despite mistakes, despite any lacking.. We as husbands are called to do this.
    4. It’s important to always see the best in each other — to forgive when you don’t want to, to pray at the end of the night together even when it’s the last thing you want to do.
    5. We can always tell when we haven’t prayed together or saught God together — it’s the most important aspect of a marriage, and we (as husbands) have that obligation to lead.
    Wish you and your bride the best!

    • http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com @kylereed

      Can’t wait to add to this list after 2 years. Thanks Michael

  • Nathan

    Congrats man! Enjoy every moment leading up to your big day. And all of this stuff you posted about what you’ve learned… multiply by 10 once you guys have kids. You see God’s love for his children, your selfishness & everything else under a giant microscope. But take your time on that front and enjoy every moment of your new life together.

    • http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com @kylereed

      That is a good point Nathan. Thank you

  • bradblackman

    Marriage is tough. But it’s also worth it. It’s fun and it’s hard and it’s scary and it’s wonderful. Praying for you and your new wife!

    • http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com @kylereed

      thanks Brad