It Is Easy To Feel Like A Bum

Kyle Reed // @kylereed

There are days that I feel great. A new pair of shoes, a fresh hair cut, or maybe a fresh new shirt. These are the days that make feeling great easy.
There are days when you do not feel so great. A old pair of jeans, having to shave, wearing the same thing. These are the days that are more overwhelming then encouraging.

But really it goes far beyond the outside feeling and more inside, to the feeling of being misplaced.

For the past couple of days I have been homeless.
I am in-between moving apartments and to make a long story short I have had to stay with some friends for a couple of days until my new apartment is ready for me to move in. Everything I own is packed away in my Jeep, it is a like a mobile storage unit. As I drive around Nashville struggling to see out of my passenger mirror because of how full my Jeep is, I have an overwhelming feeling of pathetic.

I have not felt like this in a while. Felt like what you ask? Felt like I didn’t have a place to go, like I was running out of time before I was going to have to face reality. It is one thing to have nothing to do for the day it is another thing to have no place to go for the day. And that is it, I have no where to go and no security in what I was going to do. It simply is that I have no control over these next few days. I do not know the outcome, do not know the results, and do not know what direction to head in next.

My routine is off, but really I just feel off.

It is amazing to see how pulling out a very small detail, your routine, can throw you for a loop. The detail in this case is my familiarity with having a place to stay. Threw the help of some really great friends, I have had a place to sleep at night. But this feeling of being alone, confused, and anxious cannot be met by knowing that this is only temporary.

What is more amazing is when God shows you that He is there. I was reminded of this Tuesday night, that God is here, He has been here, and He will be here. My life can sometimes feel like a house of cards that if you pull the right one everything will come tumbling down. But hearing the freeing words that God is present in this moment and the future takes the worries and confusion and brings them back to trust and hope.

I write this today not as a pity party moment, but as a source of hope and encouragement for you and for me.
That even in a time where things seem to not be going the way you want them to. The times where you just feel off. That God is there in those moments and He is doing something that you cannot see but is asking for us to trust Him.

Because sometimes we get so focused on where we are going that we miss where He is leading us.

*kyle

 

 

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Kyle Reed

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I create websites, conversations, and ideas. Advocate for the 20 somethings. Looking to connect everyone to a mentor. Married to my best friend, Ginny. I like my coffee black and my dog Jack. I currently live in Nashville and work at Sony Music/Provident in Nashville
  • http://theperkinsblog.net Michael

    I’ve been off of a routine for 6 weeks. And man it has stretched me. This was really encouraging man.

    Praying you can get in soon.

    • http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com Kyle Reed

      Ya man, you have moved to a whole other state and church.

      Somtimes that change is necessary and needed, but I know that feeling of wanting to find your routine and way of doing things.

      Praying for you Michael

  • http://ministrycare.org Gary Reed

    It’s a sad reality sometimes son, to see ourself as transient, yet to know God is present is all we need. Thanks for being vulnerable with us and God!

    • http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com Kyle Reed

      Thanks Dad. Glad that I can talk to you about it and be reminded of the plan that God is doing.

      Miss you and mom….and Jack.

  • http://www.thedailywalk.net Adam

    I love routine. When I get thrown off I get in funk too.

    I have been praying for all of the people that had their lives turned upside down last week with all of the tornadoes in my area. My prayer has been what you spoke of when you said “That God is there in those moments and He is doing something that you cannot see but is asking for us to trust Him.” It can be hard to trust when your life is changing, but trust in Him can and will get you through the tough times.

    • http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com Kyle Reed

      exactly, and I have to remind myself that my situation is nothing compared to others that have literally been displaced (and not by choice).

  • Chris

    Hey bro,
    If you need a place to stay you can always come to southern Indiana and we have a room. I know you are waiting but praying for you. Keep pushing and doing great things to connect people like you are doing!

    • http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com Kyle Reed

      thanks Chris, appreciate that.

      People here in Nashville have been great and have opened their house to me. Very grateful for that

  • http://www.jasonvana.com Jason Vana

    I am a creature of habit, so when my routine is thrown off, I’m thrown off. It is a great reminder to know, though, that even when things come up in life that make us seem out of control or in transition or that nothing feels right, God is still there and still in control.

    Thanks for your words today, Kyle. I needed them!

    • http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com Kyle Reed

      thanks Jason, I needed to hear them myself.

  • http://jonathanpearson.net Jonathan Pearson

    Been there. There right now to some extent. Love how you used this story to talk about it.

    • http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com Kyle Reed

      its tough to be in it and try and see past it because all you see is your present circumstance.

      But it helps to know God is there

  • Graham

    That is crazy man. I hear ya. Getting out of whack with your routine can really mess things up. Like you said… It’s on,y temporary. God is good.

    • http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com Kyle Reed

      yes, I have to keep telling myself that…its only temporarly

  • http://somewiseguy.com ThatGuyKC

    I’m with you on shaving. It like the result (smooth chin and more kisses from the wife), but shaving is a pain.

    Hope the new apartment is all set for you soon. Thanks for sharing your experience. I’ve struggled with feeling like a loser before and this is a good reminder God delivers.

    • http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com Kyle Reed

      God does deliver, he always has. I just have to remind myself that it doesn’t always have to be in my timing

  • http://www.gritandglory.com alece

    i REALLY appreciate this post, kyle. thank you for the honest glimpse into your heart.

    i hope you’re feeling a bit more settled in your new place…