Light V Dark

Kyle Reed // @kylereed

Funny story…at night when I have to make my “trip” to the bathroom,
I find myself throwing phantom punches into the air.
Why? Just to make sure that if anyone is going to pop out in front of me
I beat them to the punch (literally).

As crazy as it sounds, I really feel like this is going to protect me from all the
bad things that could be ahead of me.
This fear can often cripple me to the point of not being able to move at all.
I am manly enough to not use a night light, but to be honest I really do not like the dark.

Crazy fact…Did you know that headlights can only see 200 feet ahead?
For a guy afraid of the dark, this is not a comforting fact.
But am I actually afraid of the dark?
I think I am more afraid of the unknown than darkness.
Not knowing what is going to happen gives me enough fear to not go anywhere.

I was reading Matthew 6 this morning and was reminded of how import vision
is to your life. Check out verse 22-23:
“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good,
your whole body will be full of light.
But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness.
If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

As I was reading this passage I started think about how far my eyes could see.
I would love to be able to turn the “lights” on to my future and see where I am going.
But for some reason everything is really dark.
I feel like I am walking around with a lantern that is only giving a little
light off and I can only see two or three steps in front of me.
While everyone else has a 2 million lamp flashlight and can see so clearly.
I hate that…I hate the unknown, I hate not being able to see,
I hate not knowing, I hate being patient, I hate the darkness.

And yet I feel like God is telling me to follow,
to continue to hold his hand and follow Him.
And yet I feel like I cannot see where I am going.

Have you ever felt this way?
What Helped?


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Kyle Reed

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I create websites, conversations, and ideas. Advocate for the 20 somethings. Looking to connect everyone to a mentor. Married to my best friend, Ginny. I like my coffee black and my dog Jack. I currently live in Nashville and work at Sony Music/Provident in Nashville
  • Andy Unnerstall

    I feel like that right now. And if I have ever tried to make a long-term plan, something has always come up and those plans changed. I've never been able to stick to a plan for longer than 6 months or a year at a time since I graduated high school. And it's very difficult for me. Ten years ago if you had asked me where I would be today, I would have had a completely different story to tell.

    And the thing about it is that I've had to learn to be okay with it. I feel now more than any time before that God does have something big (and by big I mean dramatically different for me) planned, and that whatever it is I haven't been ready for it. And every difficulty, every challenge up to this point has been a step of preparation leading up to whatever it is.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is to have patience, and to have faith. And keep yourself tuned into your experiences and what you're learning, because all of those things are important. It's been ten years and I'm still waiting-so don't get too impatient, but don't give up on it either.

  • klreed189

    Appreciate the honesty here Andy.
    I can understand the feeling, and the words of patience is much needed.
    That is the one thing that I struggle with the most, I have no patience.
    I hope that you can continue to find what you are to do and realize that
    God is using you now.