Monday Morning High Five: Five Bible Games I Wish Existed

Kyle Reed // @kylereed

This is a guest post from Brett Barner, winner of the 1K contest.
Enjoy this post that made me laugh a couple of times.

On Monday mornings, I like to do what I call the Monday Morning High Five.  Basically, it’s a list of all things five to help make that Monday morning a little more bearable. With the Bible NavigatorX for the XBox 360, and Mass: We Pray (Which turned out to be a marketing ploy for Dante’s Inferno), it got me thinking of some Bible games that I wish were in existence. So I came up with five great Bible based video games, along with their product description, game cover, and the pros and cons of making the title.

*Note: EA, Capcom, and Activision, I still haven’t heard back from you yet. Would love to continue our talk on making these dreams a reality. Please check to make sure my email isn’t in your spam folders. Thank you.

So without further ado: The Five Bible Video Games That I Wish Existed

1 – King David Wii – Play your way through the life of David with over 25 mini-games! Test your skills with shepherding, psalm writing, and much more!  Fun multi-player games such as dodging spears from King Saul! All of our favorite David stories come to life as you motion sensor your way into history!  Take down Goliath, bring together a country, and become Israel’s greatest king!

The Good: New Wii Psaltry controller add-on included!

The Bad: David’s life was not always the sheep herding, harp playing life that Sunday schools make it out to be. Would have to be rated M for Mature for extreme violence and suggestive themes.

2 – Call of Duty – Biblical Warfare – Players find themselves in the Biblical ages as the Israelites in this new first person shooter.  From the walls of Jericho to the epic battle of Qargar, you must conquer and save your new land.  You’ll have to band together against the Philistines, Midianites, and Canaanites to take over the Promised Land and defend your country. Featuring all new weapons such as slingshots, bow and arrows, spears, and the Canaanite sickle. With excellent single player and multiplayer modes, Biblical Warfare is destined to be the next great addition in the Call of Duty series.

The Good: You are able to get out your inner frustrations as you discover what “utterly destroy” truly means.

The Bad: Weaponry is found to be frustratingly inaccurate.

3 – Street Fighter Vs Bible Characters – Your favorite Street Fighter characters are back, and this time they face off against some of your favorite Bible characters.  With over 30 characters and five game modes, this arcade style game is a collision of tag team fighting awesomeness! Pick a fight with your legendary Bible character or Street Fighter and see who has the greater moxie. Some of the new Bible character cast and their special powers includes:

  • Elijah – Draw down Heavenly fire, summons bears
  • Moses – Throws stone tablets, smites with a rod
  • Samson – Long hair whip, summons Delilah

The Good: This would finally answer the debate of, “Who would win in a fight, Moses or Ryu?”

The Bad: Like most arcade games the best characters would be non-playable (i.e. NBA Jam – No Shaq or Jordan). Therefore, Jesus could not be played as a character.

4 – Resident Evil: Left Behind – Experience the thrill and terror of the end times in Resident Evil: Left Behind for the PS3. The bio-threat has ended, but this time it’s something different. Millions have vanished and left survivors in a desperate search for answers. Chris Redfield is back, but this time he’s in a fight against famine, pestilence and death. Fight your way through scrolls and seals, and see if you can survive the world’s final battle: the Battle of Armageddon. With tremendous marksmanship and excellent running skills, Redfield is in the fight against One World Order and a totally new and different strain of evil. And you thought zombies were bad…

The Good: Kirk Cameron lends his voice and likeness as Chris Redfield.

The Bad: No zombies.

5 – Super Sons of Thunder Bros. for Nintendo DS – Fisherman brothers, James and John, will fight their way through this side-scrolling game to help set up Christ’s New Kingdom. Stomp on the Pharisee and Sadducee doctrine while you collect fish, coins, and bread to help Jesus in his earthly ministry. Foresee the future, watch the Transfiguration, and follow Christ in this new, epic adventure. Powerups include: healing of the sick, raising the dead, and cleansing lepers.

The Good: Kind of like Mario and Luigi, your journey continues even after you find out that the New Kingdom was not the earthly kingdom that you expected, and your Savior is in another castle.

The Bad: Unlike Mario and Luigi, James and John suffer from a very poor vertical leap.

This is a guest post by Brett Barner. To learn more about him and read more of his thoughts, visit GodlySheep.com: a collaborative blog that shares helpful tips for church, ministry, and life. You can also follow him on Twitter @BrettBarner.

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Kyle Reed

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I create websites, conversations, and ideas. Advocate for the 20 somethings. Looking to connect everyone to a mentor. Married to my best friend, Ginny. I like my coffee black and my dog Jack. I currently live in Nashville and work at Sony Music/Provident in Nashville
  • http://intensedebate.com/people/klreed189 Kyle Reed

    I liked number 3, but the negative immediately brought me down, not to be able to play as Jesus is a bummer. It also depressed me thinking back to not being able to use MJ (in my mind as a kid, MJ=Jesus).

    I am just amazed at the pictures. Those are great.
    And I love me some Kirk Cameron. Good touch there with that.

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  • everybodylovesraymond

    Can we choose which side to play on for that Call of Duty game? If I want to play as a philistine cause I wanna see what it feels like to be a giant. If not, I may throw some stones at you ;) hahaha

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/BrettBarner Brett Barner

      haha You can in co-op mode. :) If you wonder how it feels to be a giant, I suggest using hotel shampoos and soaps and pretend they're regular sized bottles and bars. They always make me feel like I'm giant.

      • http://intensedebate.com/people/klreed189 Kyle Reed

        HAHA, that is a classic right there.
        One of the funniest things uttered or typed on this blog. Absolutely hilarious.
        I am going to do that next time. I hate those shampoo's but now I have a new perspective on them and cannot wait to use them.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/BrettBarner Brett Barner

    lol. Yeah I figured I'd kick it old school style with the arcade game.

    Of course, I had to add Kirk somewhere. :)

  • DeWitt

    Wow Brett, this definitely made my Monday morning! As soon as I started reading the intro, my first thought was the Call of Duty – Israelite army connection! Sure does give a whole new meaning to "God Mode" cheats… =)

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/BrettBarner Brett Barner

      You know what they say about great minds, they're like a steal…something, right?

  • http://www.terracecrawford.com Terrace Crawford
  • Pastor Z

    Anyone remember Bible Adventures for Nintendo and Sega?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bible_Adventures

    The King David game sounds chillingly familiar.