The Value of Conflict…. in Private

chrisfenner // @kylereed

I LOVE soccer…I mean LOVE it. The loss Sunday was tough for the USA Woman’s team. But it got me thinking about Hope Solo, anyone remember this comment she made in 2007?

“It was the wrong decision, and I think anybody that knows anything about the game knows that,” she said. “There’s no doubt in my mind I would have made those saves. And the fact of the matter is it’s not 2004 anymore. … It’s 2007, and I think you have to live in the present. And you can’t live by big names. You can’t live in the past. It doesn’t matter what somebody did in an Olympic gold medal game in the Olympics three years ago. Now is what matters, and that’s what I think.”

That’s Hope Solo RIPPING her coach about not putting her in, and saying she could of saved the goals…. well fast forward to 2011…. she didn’t. (Think of how less she would be embarrassed if she went to the coach in private?) Now she might be right, and the coach might be wrong. I know that I have said STUPID things in the past. In fact what I’m about to talk about, I have learned from experience myself and I tink this can really apply to 20 somethings as well.

1. What you say could be right, but HOW you say it and WHEN say can make it 100% WRONG.

-Yes what Hope said could be 100% right, but how she said it and WHEN she said it makes it 100% wrong. This is something I have learned, I use to be a HOT head…. I mean HOOOOOTTTT head. But God has taught me that even though what I said might be right, I was wrong because I was doing it in angry at the time. Think about the HOW and WHEN.

2. Learn the art of “shutting your mouth”.

-It’s hard but this will save you from things you will regret in the future. I have words I wish I could’ve had back. When in doubt, THINK, and take some time before opening your mouth.

3. Dealing with people is a ART, and takes TIME.

-Dealing with people in the right way takes TIME to learn, and time = age. One has to grow in wisdom before knowing the right way to deal with people. Also learning from people who are good with people is very helpful. Study these people and learn!

4. Talk in Private.

-After you have had time to cool down, and get some wisdom. Bring up whats bothering you! Go to the person, don’t be a wimp! But do it in private!

Hope these simple tips will help you have less regret and gain in wisdom…. I’m learning right with you!


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Chris Fenner is a film maker, video editor, and a storyteller. He loves beautiful images and a clear message. He creates lasting films and videos. Currently a Tech Director and Media creator for Heritage Church.
  • ThatGuyKC

    This is awesome Chris. Great wisdom comes from experience. I’ve been there too.

  • lisacmm

    Anyone can open their mouths and give the world a piece of their mind, however it takes a wise and mature person to learn that yelling is not the same as communicating. Like you said…it takes a few hot-head experiences to learn that that is not the best way to approach a disagreement. Thanks for sharing!

  • Anonymous

    As somebody who has been there, I can say that this is all true. 

    Even something as simple as speaking up when something is bothering you can have a huge impact.