Tigers Drive that Got Away

Kyle Reed // @kylereed

Tiger Woods made a huge mistake.
One of the biggest mistakes he could have possible made….he got married.
Now if you have been a reader of Thoughts About Nothing you know that I am not against marriage and often lament on the fact that I am not married. But Tiger Woods made the biggest mistake of his life by getting married. See you would think that he made a mistake when he cheated on his wife, but his mistake was made a long time ago.

I am not condoning infidelity. It is a pretty obvious thing no matter if you believe in the word of God or not, once you are married you do not break the marriage vows. Where I think Tiger made his mistake was the fact that he got married when he had no clue what marriage was all about. Once again, I am not married so I do not claim to have it all figured out. I do know one thing, this idea of marriage that Tiger has is not a reality. The reason why I know Tiger has no clue what marriage is all about is how many women he “allegedly” cheated with on his family. The fact that he keep it a secret, only to confess when he was caught shows where he is at and what he is looking for in a marriage relationship. Why get married in the first place if you are not going to make the commitment to your wife that you will sacrifice your desire to constantly get what you want and instead work towards a committed and loving relationship that sacrifices for one another. What is the point of getting married if you are not going to honor the marriage commitment.

I have made a huge mistake. The same mistake Tiger has made, I have cheated on the one I love. About 11 years ago I entered into the marriage covenant with God. I was 12 years old and professed my need for a savior and His grace. I was baptized and took communion for the first time with my family that day. Every day sense, I have been cheating. I constantly ask myself why I entered this relationship only to break the call of dying to oneself daily. I mean what is the point if I cannot be faithful to the one I love?

I have learned something that I hope Tiger Woods is learning, there is this beautiful thing called grace. What I hope Tiger knows and myself for that matter is that we belong to the People of the Second Chance. We all belong to this group. Everyday we cheat on a loving God that extends his love on the merit of nothing that we do. I am reminded daily of my struggles, even more so when others sins are in front of me. I am no different then Tiger and neither are you. We are all in need of grace from a perfect God. We will all make mistakes, we will all “cheat on our wife” and we will all enter the marriage relationship with the constant battle of dying to ourselves daily.

What is one thing that reminds you of Grace?

*kyle
Check out People of the Second Chance here

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Kyle Reed

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I create websites, conversations, and ideas. Advocate for the 20 somethings. Looking to connect everyone to a mentor. Married to my best friend, Ginny. I like my coffee black and my dog Jack. I currently live in Nashville and work at Sony Music/Provident in Nashville
  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Chris_Tomlinson Chris_Tomlinson

    It may have been a mistake, if we call sin a mistake. It may also be for Tiger's good, if he comes to love God.

    "We know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose" (Rom 8:28).

    God's purposes are being revealed in Tiger's life and in our own hearts, as you suggest–we're all in need of grace.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/klreed189 Kyle Reed

      Chris, I find often that when I sin (or I guess what I was saying a mistake) it is for my good to learn from the lesson, I just never see that at the time. I think if I could see how I would grow from the sin I might sin even more. But, going back to what Paul was talking about in Romans, where there is sin there is grace, but it does not justify a free will of sinning all the time (if that made sense).

      My hope is that others will see that Tiger is not some spectacle, but he is just like us struggling through life.

  • Shelby

    I agree with you. and I hope Tiger does find the good in all this, and accepts the grace is so easily given to him.

    I think my own life reminds me of Grace. I know that without grace there is no HUMANLY way possible I would be where I am today. With the environment i grew up in its a small miracle I am even a live. and The fact that I'm breathing rejoicing and praising God is not possible without God's grace. Not even imaginable without grace.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/klreed189 Kyle Reed

      The cool thing is your life will also show others of God's love and Grace.

  • Lauree

    another lesson from tiger’s experience is that everyone needs to have someone who holds them accountable…. someone who is free to say “what on earth do you think you are doing?” this is true in every area of life.

  • http://brionyskerjance.blogspot.com Briony

    This is a great way to look at a horrible situation Kyle. What a way to turn things around and bring it back to us, take the focus off one man and his struggles and shine the light on the fact that he is not alone in this. We all fail, we all struggle. I personally haven't really followed the Tiger story but from your post I do believe I can agree with you that people who have affairs don't know what marriage is really about, and therefore fail at it. But our failures are often our best lessions when we respond to them in the correct way. We have to not only take responsibility for our actions but make a decision to learn from them. I do hope that during this hard time that Tiger is able to take away from this mistake a lesson that will make him into a better man. Thanks for posting this!

  • Zac

    I think this is an awesome metaphor, but I hope God doesn't smash my windows out with Golf Clubs or give me grace because in two years he will receive $55 Million because he stayed married to me ten years (that is what Elin's allegedly gonna get).

    However, I definitely see your point about being unfaithful to God. I struggle everyday and if it weren't for grace, I would be in a ditch somewhere or worse.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/lorizimbardi lorizimbardi

    The greatest post I have read today..probably this week, nope this month. I agree with you. I feel sorry for Tiger that his sin has to be played out in the media and so thankful that mine doesn't. Certainly doesn't mean his sin is any greater than mine. I hope more people read this post, put their pitchforks down and understand the Grace God has shown all of us.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/klreed189 Kyle Reed

      Thank you for those kind words.
      I hope so as well.

  • http://www.gregdarley.com Greg Darley

    If there's a prenup, then that's never a good sign. If you begin something by preparing to fail, you'll fail 9 out of 10 times. Which goes back to his thoughts on marriage. And so you know, marriage is awesome if you work hard at it!

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/klreed189 Kyle Reed

      Well I wish I knew from experience that marriage is awesome, but I am not there yet. Maybe one day…
      But ya, that whole prenup thing, does not sound like the best idea.

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  • http://www.jenniclayville.com Jenni

    my husband reminds me of what grace looks like every day.

    great post, kyle.

  • http://theestherproject.com Lex

    This is a great post, and I agree with what you're saying, but I don't know if I'd call his getting married a mistake.

    You made a great analogy to committing your life to Christ, but would you say that was a mistake just because you've "cheated" on Him so many times? I think sometimes we go into things (marriage and/or salvation) with pure hearts and every good intention.

    If you had asked Tiger – or just about anyone – on the day of his wedding if he would ever cheat on his wife he would have emphatically answered No and meant it with all his heart. Just like we mean it when we say, "God, I'll never do that again." The commitment doesn't become a mistake just because we falter. The mistake is the mistake.

    But I love People of the Second Chance, and get what you're saying. We should let the situation remind us of God's grace without condemning the man, and pray that he finds good in the end of it.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/klreed189 Kyle Reed

      Good point. You are right, Tiger did not go into this on the day of his marriage thinking I cannot wait to cheat on her.
      What I do not understand is why he got married in the first place. I guess the idea was there for him and what he thought marriage was about, but it just seems odd to me that if you are going to have 4 other women on the side why commit to one women (and this is purely speaking from an objective view, I do not think that way myself so I hope that it is not taken in justifying things).

      I think you are right, but I would say that we enter the relationship with God knowing that we will cheat on Him and that is what makes the relationship even more beautiful. The fact that He knows as well and still offers us love and grace. But it does not excuse our sins and it does not mean that we can continue to keep sinning just because there is grace.

      Sin is simply missing the mark or violating God's law.
      By understanding your sin it helps you understand God
      And by understanding your sin it helps you see what Jesus did.

      I think the amazing thing is that we are not who we use to be but we are not who we are going to be.

      Thanks for your comment, good questions and thoughts.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Cindy_Graves Cindy_Graves

    What's one thing that reminds me of GRACE?

    Every time I judge someone for their shortcomings…and I hear God clear His throat…aahem, excuse me…

    That's when He reminds me of my shortcomings. Then I thank Him for grace that covers it all and repent of my judgemental attitude because if He doesn't hold my sins against me who do I think I am? Better than God? I think not.

  • http://richardwestley.com Richard Westley

    Great title!

    "There but for the grace of God go I" one of the finest quotes credited by John Bradford. Every one of us is capable of the sin of pleasure. EVERY one of us. When we don't learn to train our flesh to depend on God rather than our own strength then our drive will get the best of us as well.

  • http://www.POTSC.com mike foster

    great post kyle!

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