This verse has hit me like a ton of bricks this morning….
“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10).
Honestly, for a long time, I have been working towards the approval of men and not God. In some sick and twisted way I knew that I would always have God. But I never seemed to feel like I had mans approval. This drove me to be the best I could be, know that right people, and look the best I could. All the while, God was left in the background. I had the attitude that God would always be there, man would not, and all I needed was to become popular and liked by man so that I can feel good about myself. How foolish was I to think that I was working for the approval of man?
Over the last 4 months I have been on a journey of discovery. Finding out about who I am and what I am doing. Learning and discovering passions and gifts, but also learning what it looks like to be in love with people and not God. It has been so easy for me to get caught up in the idea that if I am liked by others than I will like myself. This has been slowly shattered, and shattered in a very painful way. Many things that I have pursued or went after have fallen flat on their face. It has taken me this long to even see this let alone learn all of this.
I am in the process of rehabbing from working for man and not for God. But I am slowly working out of this and working towards God. In light of all of this I am going to be changing some things that you might notice or you might not notice. But am getting back to working for God, not man.